This time it feels different. Maybe it’s the fear of beinig fat at 45, or health concerns, or being sick of being fat. But somehow I’m feeling like it’s actually possible to lose this weight. Yesterday I was doing a photoshoot with a client, and two interesting things happened.

First, I asked the photographer to take a professional, full-body picture of me. (Clothed, of course, but nevertheless, not a great sight.) NEVER would I have done such a thing before. But I asked him to because this will be my big “before” picture. I’ve never wanted to take a before picture until now because I realize I never thought that there would be an “after.” So that was good. I’ll post the picture as soon as I have it.

Second, this particular client loves wine as much as I do. At the end of the shoot, they offered everyone a glass to celebrate a successful day. The old me: “YES please!” The new me: “No thank you.” Since I’ve worked for this client for many years and they know that I love wine too, jaws dropped. But I held fast, went home and ate a reasonable dinner.

I couldn’t believe myself.