All About Fat Tales

So there’s a good reason why I’m fat. I eat too much. You could also say I have the metabolism of a snail, but that would be an excuse (even though I really do).

I’m also not great at getting exercise. Sure, I can go to the gym and enjoy it (sort of) but I don’t go often enough. On the plus side, when I go I really work out hard, but once every couple of weeks simply isn’t enough to put a dent in the flab.

Finally, truth be told, I hate authority. I want to do what I want when I want to. I put everything into my mouth willingly. Food has never been jammed down my throat.

So can it be any surprise that a life of indulgence and sloth-like behavior has resulted in a portly physique?

Now it’s time to change.

I’ve started this blog to see if writing about food and my flab can forestall me from putting more food in my mouth. I still intend to cook and eat and drink. Maybe just not to excess. And with no fake stuff.

I don’t want to eat reduced carbohydrate cookies; give me the real thing, dammit, or don’t give it to me at all. No fat-free dressings laced with guar gum. No Splenda, Nutrasweet or Saccharine. No sugar-free gelatin. (I didn’t like Jello with sugar in grade school, and I still don’t.)

Anybody with any tips on how to lose what I’ve got to lose while maintaining sanity should email me. Please. Help.

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